Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Park her anywhere...


"Take her to the beach. The mountains. A secluded forest. She's always ready, no matter what you want to do or where you want to go." 'Nough said. Of course, he's talking about the bloody caravan and not the blonde. Now did you ever...? Nahhhhh. 

Who comes up with these stinky ads, I wonder... 




Friday, 13 September 2013



Deitadinha aos pés dele e em adoração... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

On how to be lovely








Does your husband work very hard? Is he smart? And yet he's still not successful? Are you aware that you, as his wife, are the one to blame? Yes, indeed! You are not taking proper care of the way your husband looks. Buy him Lifebuoy soap, ungrateful spouse. And be more conscious of your duty. 






O seu marido trabalha incansavelmente? E é inteligente? No entanto, não tem sucesso? Sabia que você, enquanto esposa dele, é quem tem culpa disso? Sim, claro! Você não está a cuidar da aparência do seu marido. Compre-lhe sabonete Lifebuoy, esposa ingrata. E seja mais consciente dos seus deveres. 

Thursday, 15 November 2012


FBI GIRL is a 1951 movie. This photo was the one used to publicize the movie, in whose plot actress Audrey Totter takes a good deal of abuse from the villain, actor Raymond Burr (accidentally known for playing the role of a judge in a world famous TV series and for his love of holidays in the Azores islands). So maybe today a girl taking a punch on the chin is not good publicity... or maybe it is. Back then, the movie taught our parents that girls better toughen up... or else! 





FBI GIRL é um filme de 1951. Esta foi a foto usada para publicitar o filme, em cujo enredo a actriz Audrey Tooter sofre uma boa dose de abusos por parte do vilão, o actor Raymond Burr (que, por acaso, é conhecido por ter desempenhado o papel de um juíz numa mundialmente famosa série de TV e por gostar de passar férias nas ilhas dos Açores). É bem provável que hoje em dia uma foto de uma rapariga a levar um soco no queixo não constitua boa publicidade... ou talvez até seja. Mas naquela época, este filme ensinou aos nossos pais que as raparigas tinham de ser duronas... ou então... 

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Drummond sweaters

Se não comprarem as novas camisolas Drummond, 
voltamos logo aos anúncios com modelos masculinos.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Gillette


Every active and intelligent businessman, for whom time is money, shaves himself with his own Gillette.

Aren't they pretty while they work?
I was looking for the use of these two words together (men and pretty) and I found this definition of "man-pretty". Actually there were two:

man-pretty: 
1. A male who is more handsome than all other men, and more beautiful than most women, but still exhibits masculine characteristics.
2. A man (most likely metrosexual) who looks attractive but look to feminine to be considered handsome.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=man-pretty

.........................................................

Não são tão bonitos enquanto trabalham?
Estava a fazer uma busca sobre o uso destas suas palavras juntas (men e pretty) e encontrei a definição de "man-pretty". Duas, até:

man-pretty:
1. Um homem que é mais bonito que os outros homens, e mais belo que a maior parte das mulheres, mas que tenha características masculinas.
2. Um homem (normalmente metrosexual) que é atraente mas demasiado feminino para ser considerado belo. 

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Fringe


I'm not sure if my neighbour - who is a hairdresser - is trying to tell me he is tired of trimming my fringe, but he actually posted this on his Facebook. 
Scotch Tape - useful in many ways! 




Não tenho a certeza se o meu vizinho - que é cabeleireiro - está a tentar dizer-me que anda cansado de me aparar a franja, mas ele postou isto no seu Facebook. 
Scotch Tape - tem muitas utilidades! 


Thursday, 23 August 2012

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Marriage Advice from the 50's # 2




 “To be a successful wife is a career in itself, requiring among other things, the qualities of a diplomat, a businesswoman, a good cook, a trained nurse, a schoolteacher, a politician and a glamour girl.” Emily Mudd 

Friday, 11 May 2012

Marriage Advice from the 50's # 1

"Clifford Adams thus assured wives whose husbands were prone to violence that following a program of avoiding arguments, indulging their husbands’ whims, helping them relax, and sharing their burdens would “foster harmony” in the home and make them “happy wives.”", in Making Marriage Work: a History of Marriage and Divorce in the Twentieth Century by Kristin Celello, Assistant Professor at Queen's University

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Scary stuff # 3


"Can you compete with your daughter's little girl look?

Mrs John Marino does. She keeps her complexion young-looking with pure mild Ivory..." 

Well, Mrs John Marino is not only a very disturbed woman, unable to cope with the passing of time, but also a deeply castrating mother. And you don't have to be Mrs Freud to summarize this add. 






"Consegue competir com o aspecto da sua filhita? 

A sra John Marino consegue. Ela mantém a aparência jovem da sua compleição com o sabonete suave e puro da Ivory..." 

Bem, a sra John Marino não é apenas uma mulher muito perturbada, incapaz de lidar com a natural passagem do tempo, mas também é uma mãe muito castradora. E não é preciso ser a sra Freud para descodificar este anúncio. 

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Spanish Beauty Queen

August
Agosto
1929



"Here you have a queen elected by her people! Señorita Candelas Altés, the preciosidad you can see in the picture... unfortunately for yourselves... through a telescope. Oh! Little fiery portuguese men, with your melted hearts and killer eyes like bullets! She was just proclaimed the beauty queen of this beauty paradise, by a popular poll. What do you think? A blessing from above, isn't it? But her charming and spiteful rivals don't think so. They openly accused her for buying votes, like old time deputies... They even talk about cheating, such as this wonderful eyes wouldn't be enough to drive away any suspect of swindle!... What can we do? The bitterness of the throne. To the ex-queen, elected by a jury in a contest, they even called her, you know what? A crossed-eyed! What about she was a crossed-eyes? Wouldn't it be permitted to such a beautiful face, so cute, so perfect, and so worthy of a crown? Throne obliges!! How cruel can people be! A huge fuss!"

Now I understand when the say 1929 was the year of the great depression...

Agora percebo que 1929 tenha sido o ano da grande depressão...


the joys of taking a bath in the Navy




Thursday, 8 March 2012

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Scary stuff # 2


That's it, sis. Put your baby asleep under a sun lamp. If you don't have a tanned kiddo, you are not one following the new hit. 




É isso mesmo. Põe a o teu bebé a dormir debaixo de um solário. Se não tens um puto bronzeado, é porque, definitivamente, não estás na moda. 

How times have changed!


The box claims "Instantaneous cure!" 




A caixa garante "cura instantânea!"

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Votes for women?



"Women's suffrage would double the irreponsible vote! It is a menace to the home, men's unemployment and to all business!" This is an anti-suffragist propaganda. The quotas for women were still a long way ahead... 

"O sufrágio feminino iria dobrar o voto irresponsável! É uma ameaça para o lar, o emprego masculino e os negócios em geral." Propaganda contra o voto das mulheres. Longe estava o tempo das quotas. 

Friday, 17 February 2012

Friday night


"Breath problem? Lick it! Lifesavers."



"Problemas de hálito? Lambe um... Lifesavers."

Sunday, 12 February 2012

The "light" refreshment


"Refresh without filling... Have a Pepsi. The light refreshment."

Not sure if we're talking about Pepsi Cola or about the girl and boy of the moment that the picture shows. 




"Refresca-te sem encheres a barriga... Toma uma Pepsi. O refrigerante leve."

Fico na dúvida se estamos mesmo a falar da Pepsi ou se os adjetivos se aplicam à (respetiva e temporária) cara-metade deste parzinho.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Nameless, shameless woman!

"Trained in an art as old as time, she served a mob of terror and violence whose one mission was to destroy!...Trading her love...Yelding kisses that invite disaster... destroy - then kill!" 


I married a communist, a 1949 movie starring Laraine Day and Robert Ryan 





"Mulher sem vergonha e sem nome!

Versada numa arte tão antiga quanto o Tempo, ela servia uma tribo de terror e violência cuja única missão era destruir... Trocando o seu amor... Rendendo beijos que convidavam ao desastre... destruindo - matando por fim!"

Casei com um comunista, um filme de 1949 com Laraine Day e Robert Ryan